Semi Truths

TRUE: In a major foreign policy speech, “President” Bush declares his support for a democratic Palestinian state and calls for the Palestinian people “to elect new leaders… not compromised by terror”. Palestinian officials, expecting a call for an Israeli withdrawal and hearing instead about “Israel’s need to defend itself”, react with alarm and dismay. Critics of the administration wonder how Bush can call on the Palestinian people to “practice democracy” while, in the same breath, declare an intention only to recognize “a new and different Palestinian leadership”.

SEMITRUE: Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, addressing these criticisms, points out that “this White House is no stranger to controversial changes in management” and, citing bullet-proof polling results, declares that “our current administration approval ratings demonstrate that a popular leader need not necessarily be, you know, like actually elected…”

TRUE: A federal judge of the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco declares that the Pledge of Allegiance violates the constitutional separation of Church and State. Constitutional scholars declare that the Supreme Court will review the case.

SEMITRUE: Declaring that “the Supreme Court is the only body almightier than the Supreme Being“, Justice Antonin Scalia declares that the following oath survives “Constitutional muster”:

We pledge allegiance to the Judge
of the Supreme Court of America

And to the Republicans
for which we stand

One nation, under foot
Take liberties, these Justices for All.