Semi Truths A highly irregular weblog dedicated to Truth, Justice, and American Cheese…!

June 24, 2002

FRIENDS LIKE THESE

Filed under: Media,Satire — semi @ 5:18 pm

According to an article in The Washington Post, we may be confusing our real friends with Friends on TV. Writing in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, sociologist Satoshi Kanazawa posits that we have not yet evolutionarily adapted to the false intimacy of television programs and contends that viewers “fail to distinguish between real friends and the imaginary ones they see on TV” and “people who watch certain types of TV are more satisfied with their friendships, as if they had more friends and socialized with them more often”.

Kanazawa, who teaches at the apparently geographically misplaced Indiana University of Pennsylvania, writes “When we watch TV and see people having a good time, we feel like we are with friends having a good time, we are participating and we have friends.” He also cites differences between the genders: women tend to feel like they have more friends and a better social life if they watch more sitcoms and family dramas, whereas men feel more socially connected to news anchors, imagining them to be on the same level of friendship as coworkers. Also, men like sports and porn.

This is a controversial conclusion, and one that I am sure is on its way to be over-analyzed by the media. To explore this theory, I called a few of my close friends and asked them about social bonding in the TV age. Here are a few of their responses:

MR. SPOCK: I have learned never to underestimate the human capacity for reaching emotional conclusions based on fragmented evidence. I find this analysis to be illogical.

HOMER SIMPSON: Beer is my best friend.

COSMO KRAMER: Hey, all my friends are on TV. You got any milk?

RINGO STARR: What would you do if I sang out of tune?

references:

CRIME UP, CREDIBILITY DOWN

Filed under: Satire,True/Semitrue — semi @ 11:09 am

TRUE: As reported in many media outlets, and outlined on the FBI web page, rates for serious crimes such as rape, robbery, and homicide increased dramatically last year for the first time in almost a decade.

SEMITRUE: The White House Media Office is already gathering data regarding the rise in serious crime since January 2001 and is prepared to blame it all on Bill Clinton.

ROLLING OUT THE NEW SEMI TRUTHS

Filed under: General,Uncategorized — semi @ 10:55 am

Welcome to the new SEMI TRUTHS. After a too-long hiatus, I am jumping feet first into the newest trend in website rendering, a Web Log. For those not completely up-to-date on cutting-edge technology (“Hi Mom!“), gone are the days of simple, static pages. Web logs are an entire content management system which will allow the content provider (i.e., yours truly) to waste even more time figuring out how to make this text appear just right on the web page. (In other words, if I were still in school, “The dog ate my homework” has now been replaced by “A bit of poorly managed code has rendered my entire text unreadable“).

The main point is that, instead of taking my time to craft a carefully constructed and considered narrative, thoughtfully deconstructing important issues of the day, I can now casually sit back and, metaphorically speaking, just hurl crap at my computer screen and see what sticks!

On the plus side, now you, the reader, can also instantly add unexpurgated comments to what you see here.

Thank you for visiting my site. If you are new here, please follow the link to my early columns to give you an idea of my politics, my sense of humor, and the shaky foundation upon which this new house is being hastily cobbled. Please bear with me as I figure out this new way of doing things (if you can’t bear with me, then please select another woodland creature of your choice) and you will be rewarded (?) with my views on Politics, Technology, Word Usage, Everyday Reviews, and even the occasional SEMI-Biographical note.

Stay tuned…!

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