Semi Truths A highly irregular weblog dedicated to Truth, Justice, and American Cheese…!

—–Original Message—–
From: ‘Junior@WhiteHouse.gov’
To: ‘41@Kennebunkport.net’
Sent: Tuesday, January 28, 2003
Subject: My Big Speech

Poppy –

You know I’ve got that big speech coming up tonight. I’m a little nervous, but nothing a few shots from that bottle you left in the desk won’t fix. Ha ha.

Anyways, I’m trying out a few real dandy phrases to kinda get everyone’s attention. You know, like last year with that “Axis of Evil”. Everybody’s still talkin about it, and it sure made me look pretty smart cause two of those countries have turned out to be really really evil since then. (I don’t
know *what’s* going on in that third country though.)

Here’s some of the phrases I’m thinking of using, and I want you to tell me what you think of them:

“AXIS OF EVILER” (see above)
“AXIS OF WEASELS” (Democrats)
“EXCESS OF EVIL” (Liberals)
“AXIS OF AFL” (Labor Unions)
“AXIS OF AWFUL” (Rap music)
“AXIS OF EVEL” (Kneivel)
“AXIS OF FEEBLE” (those pantywaist Euros, like France and Germany)

[“Poppy”] Yeah, what do they know about war?

“ACCENTS OF EVIL” (France and Germany again)

[“Poppy”] Especially the Germans. Brrrr!!!

“AXIS OF EIFFEL” (France)
“AXIS OF WAFFLE” (Belgium. That’s in France, right?)

[“Poppy”] Check with Laura.

“EX-SPOUSE OF EVIL”

[“Poppy”] Better check with Laura on that one, too.

“EXHAUST OF EVIL” (Pollution from fossil fuels. Ha ha, just kidding!)

[“Poppy”] You little stinker!

“AXES OF EVIL” (Loggers. Just kidding again!)

[“Poppy”] Okay Junior, get serious.

“NO NEW AXIS!”

[“Poppy”] I like the sound of that!

“FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON … SHAME ON ME, CAN’T GET FOOLED AGAIN!”

[“Poppy”] No no, I keep telling you. It’s “Fooling with me once is no fooling around again“. No wait … “You can fool me once, but twice is a shame!” No wait…

Ah hell, Georgie, just say what you want and remember to pause every 30 seconds so everyone can clap.

Knock ‘em dead, son!

—41

If you get tired of watching tonight’s State of the Union address, amuse yourself with this edited clip from last year:

(No, I can’t take credit for it. This marvelous piece came from a website with a name too vulgar to repeat here, but can be seen displayed at the end of the clip).