Semi Truths A highly irregular weblog dedicated to Truth, Justice, and American Cheese…!

I have been reading Cecil Adam’s Straight Dope column for more than twenty years. If you are familiar with his work, you know that he has managed to cop a pretty good living crafting informative and entertaining answers to his readers’ many arcane questions (and man, would I love to have his job!). StraightDope.com is definitely a Website Worth Watching.

In addition to a remarkable archive of Cecil’s writing, the website also hosts the Straight Dope Message Board, one of the livelier discussion forums you’re likely to encounter. My favorite is the MPSIMS (“Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share“) and a thread titled “The stupidest thing I’ve ever done to myself“. It began when a woman described punching herself in the nose while trying to put on her bra. After a few hasty inquiries from sensitive men who wanted to make sure that her breasts were all right, a long thread soon grew as more contributors described various self-inflicted bodily injuries. Something about this thread has inspired numerous tales, and there are now well over a hundred posts detailing all types of pratfalls, black eyes, blows to the skull and other precious body parts.

Personally, I have too many of my own tales to recount here , but the thread reminded me of a time that I faced my own mortality with razor-like reflexes and a hearty “nyuck-nyuck“, in an incident I can only call:

MY DEATH AS A STOOGE